Why is it that the only Christmas song I can think of is Blue Christmas by Elvis. That song is going round and round in my head. I am trying to stifle tears. I am trying to remember all the reasons to rejoice but depression doesn't work that way. I need solitude to create but not this much solitude. Next year for sure if the kids aren't here with the grandkids for Christmas I swear my husband and I will go somewhere else.
I miss my mom and my dad long since departed from this eartly plane. I miss my grandmother. I miss my brothers. I miss my extended family now scattered all across the country doing their own thing.
Mostly I miss my own kids.I miss the happy times we had when the kids were still home, with our own little traditions. My daughter and I singing in the choir at midnight mass. My son poking at the presents under the tree. Everyone having 1 little present on Christmas Eve and you have to wait for morning for the rest.The big Santa presents. The stockings. The pictures, the noise. picking up the wrapping paper when its all over. Making breakfast and then starting on the turkey. We won't have any of that this year, as my daughter and her husband, and my precious granddaughter are having Christmas with Daddy's family. My son is having Christmas with his girlfriend's family.
So my hubby and I are going to be thankful we have each other and that we have enough. Not alot but enough. Solace in one another's arms, nothing more. No decorations, no cookies, no turkey, no work, no Christmas movies, no candy.
Lots of time to sit by the fire and drink tea, or maybe do a jigsaw puzzle together, or play cards- rummy, cribbage, I don't know. Watch comedies. But not A Christmas Story.
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